Crimson Screens is horrified at "Snakes On A Plane"...
Crimson Screens is horrified at "Snakes On A Plane"...
This movie had some amazing levels of hype built up around it in the months prior to its release. It had ultra "hip" movie star Samuel L. Jackson in it and a nifty, retarded yet catchy title. It didn't even promise to be a great movie, in fact, it promised to be a ridiculous thrill movie. Hype hype hype hype hype.
This movie was dumb. Any movie that tries to be marketed as a cult classic, is bound to fail miserably. Cult classics aren't made. They are created over time. To me, that is something you can't force or try and create, it just happens on it's own. Well, this movie tried to do a lot and ultimately it failed at everything. Yeah, there are a lot of deadly snakes on a plane and yeah there are boobs and yeah there is violence. But you know, the snakes effects are a whole lot of bad, the boobs are nothing great and the violence isn't nearly what you would expect. The movie promised all this shit, gore and blood and action, and while there is all of that stuff, none of it is as over the top as all the bullshit hype around this movie would have led you to believe.
And there is a stupid catch phrase to this movie, which I won't repeat because I'm sick to death of it. But every dumb asshole in the theatre felt the need to yell it out from ten minutes prior to the start of the movie and all the way through on the way out of the theatre. It's not even funny when the character says it, much less some retard in the theatre. Annoying. I take points off of my review of this just for that too.
The only part that I thought was funny was when the snake bit the guys dick.
Besides that, this movie is some overhyped bullshit that I am glad to see is not doing too well at the theatre.
And while I'm at it, The Wicker Man, the remake, is a piece of shit too. And so was Pulse. At least Pulse had potential, but it was ruined something fierce. The Wicker Man is another remake of a movie which kind of sucked to begin with and they go to all the trouble to remake it and they can't even come up with anything better than the original. How fukcing stupid is that? Ok, this week we get The Covenant. No, it's not a movie about the third Morbid Angel record. It's a dopey looking teeny bopper movie which looks like a rip off of The Craft. Advance word is that its a complete pile, so yeah, I'll go ahead and say skip it.
E
This movie had some amazing levels of hype built up around it in the months prior to its release. It had ultra "hip" movie star Samuel L. Jackson in it and a nifty, retarded yet catchy title. It didn't even promise to be a great movie, in fact, it promised to be a ridiculous thrill movie. Hype hype hype hype hype.
This movie was dumb. Any movie that tries to be marketed as a cult classic, is bound to fail miserably. Cult classics aren't made. They are created over time. To me, that is something you can't force or try and create, it just happens on it's own. Well, this movie tried to do a lot and ultimately it failed at everything. Yeah, there are a lot of deadly snakes on a plane and yeah there are boobs and yeah there is violence. But you know, the snakes effects are a whole lot of bad, the boobs are nothing great and the violence isn't nearly what you would expect. The movie promised all this shit, gore and blood and action, and while there is all of that stuff, none of it is as over the top as all the bullshit hype around this movie would have led you to believe.
And there is a stupid catch phrase to this movie, which I won't repeat because I'm sick to death of it. But every dumb asshole in the theatre felt the need to yell it out from ten minutes prior to the start of the movie and all the way through on the way out of the theatre. It's not even funny when the character says it, much less some retard in the theatre. Annoying. I take points off of my review of this just for that too.
The only part that I thought was funny was when the snake bit the guys dick.
Besides that, this movie is some overhyped bullshit that I am glad to see is not doing too well at the theatre.
And while I'm at it, The Wicker Man, the remake, is a piece of shit too. And so was Pulse. At least Pulse had potential, but it was ruined something fierce. The Wicker Man is another remake of a movie which kind of sucked to begin with and they go to all the trouble to remake it and they can't even come up with anything better than the original. How fukcing stupid is that? Ok, this week we get The Covenant. No, it's not a movie about the third Morbid Angel record. It's a dopey looking teeny bopper movie which looks like a rip off of The Craft. Advance word is that its a complete pile, so yeah, I'll go ahead and say skip it.
E
posted by Crimson Screens at 10:45 AM
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