Crimson Screens takes it up the ass with "Hellbent", the worlds first gay slasher movie. Plus, Cinema Wasteland and estrogen galore!!!
Crimson Screens takes it up the ass with "Hellbent", the worlds first gay slasher movie. Plus, Cinema Wasteland and estrogen galore!!!
Hello all! My name is Melissa and we've got estrogen up in this bitch tonight!!! I got the password and I'm doing the update today. Seriously though, I write occasional reviews for this site and I used to help Mr. Edward with the Crimson Screens fanzine. He is still recovering after his operation and so he asked me to update this since he still has no internet access where he is at. He is recovering well. I am sure he will post again as soon as they move him somewhere that he can have a computer. He says he will be at Cinema Wasteland this weekend if he is feeling up to it, and if he is, then most likely on Saturday.
Send him get well wishes @ crimsonscreens@yahoo.com
Here is a review he emailed me last week, to post in case he was unable to get to the internet. After the review, I will write some stuff, so please read on...
Hellbent
Ok, so it's the night before Halloween and two gay guys are murdered. The next night there is a big festival and a group of gay guys decides to go and it seems the killer from the night before has set his sights on them. I guess this was a novel idea, making the characters of a random slasher movie gay, but once you look past the fact that they are all gay, there really isn't much left here besides a shitty slasher movie.
The script is average. It is not completely horrible, but its on par with any random piece of shit straight to video slasher movie. The acting pretty much sucks too and the characters are, I guess, eye candy if your thing is shirtless guys. If you are straight, then I guess you are out of luck.
There is a decent amount of blood and gore, but it doesn't help anything. Every now and then, I would just think, "Oh another death", but as soon as the bloodshed stopped, the movie was right back to the way it was before. And I don't mean that the death scenes are anything really noteworthy, in fact, all they do is bring you out of boredom just a bit.
What little momentum the movie had going, completely falls apart at the end. The killer is a total letdown and actually quite dumb. We get no explanation as to why any of this took place. Terrible ending to a terrible movie.
I did read up a little about this on various websites and it seems that gay people label it as some breakout horror movie and straight people think it is a piece of shit. In fact, it seems a lot of gay cinema is instantly labeled breakout or superb, just because it has gay characters or gay themes. To me, that is stupid as fuck. If this movie was with straight characters, it would pass under the radar (gaydar?) and no one would give it a second look. Yet, since it has gay characters, it plays in film festivals and is surrounded by a bunch of hoopla. Well, shit is shit and this film is shit with gay characters. And shit will still be shit whether the characters are gay or not. As I said earlier, terrible movie.
Hey, I'm back! This is Melissa back with you. This weekend is the big Cinema Wasteland fall show. To me, Cinema Wasteland is the best horror convention. They always have a good mixup with guests each time, because it does get old seeing the same fucking people at every show. I think I was sick of seeing Tom Savini about five years ago. Don't get me wrong, great guy, but enough is enough with him for a while. Of course, he is back this year, but for a 25 anniversary reunion for the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There will also be a Street Trash reunion. I'm very excited for that. Oh shit, they got a guy from Cannibal Holocaust this year. Hopefully he will have some good stories and not have "forgotten" everything from that period of his life.
Of course, there is some shit I am bored to death with at these shows:
- tables of faux "scream queens" selling piles of shit movies, semi naked pictures and other crap. Hey, I'm all for nudity and hot girls, but I think they should get some more talented ones rather than the nameless, talentless ones who I always see there. And they should also sit there with their tops off, because, as much as they kid themselves that it is not the reason, their big tits are the only reason anyone pays attention to them.
- a table of Living Dead Dolls piled sky high. I hate those things. I can't even say why. One year, the one guy who makes them bought be drinks at the bar, so that was cool, but all the drinks in the world won't make me like those things.
- people who have no personal hygiene- horror conventions seem to be the only place I go to these days that you will walk by someone who smells like they haven't showered in a week. Ugh, it's especially bad when you get trapped behind them while walking through the dealers room.
- they do have a lot of good movies listed on the page of stuff that they will be showing in the screening rooms. i love the in person commentaries and stuff, but i hate the people who ask the same dumb fucking questions every single time. ask tom savini who is the hottest scream queen he has banged, but dont ask him how was it working with george romero?
- the people who put this on should get a temporary liquor liscense and sell their own stuff, because the prices last time at the bar were too high for three nights of hard drinking. i think ill smuggle some goodies in, like i often see a lot of people doing. also, if you are a cute boy and you want to buy me a drink, you can find me at the bar or wandering around. i have long black hair with a blue streak going through it. Just yell, "Hey you bitch!" and I'll gladly talk to you. You had better apoligize for calling me a bitch though.
That is all for this update. I have a review to update with tomorrow and I am sure Mr. Edward will be back before you know it.
Hello all! My name is Melissa and we've got estrogen up in this bitch tonight!!! I got the password and I'm doing the update today. Seriously though, I write occasional reviews for this site and I used to help Mr. Edward with the Crimson Screens fanzine. He is still recovering after his operation and so he asked me to update this since he still has no internet access where he is at. He is recovering well. I am sure he will post again as soon as they move him somewhere that he can have a computer. He says he will be at Cinema Wasteland this weekend if he is feeling up to it, and if he is, then most likely on Saturday.
Send him get well wishes @ crimsonscreens@yahoo.com
Here is a review he emailed me last week, to post in case he was unable to get to the internet. After the review, I will write some stuff, so please read on...
Hellbent
Ok, so it's the night before Halloween and two gay guys are murdered. The next night there is a big festival and a group of gay guys decides to go and it seems the killer from the night before has set his sights on them. I guess this was a novel idea, making the characters of a random slasher movie gay, but once you look past the fact that they are all gay, there really isn't much left here besides a shitty slasher movie.
The script is average. It is not completely horrible, but its on par with any random piece of shit straight to video slasher movie. The acting pretty much sucks too and the characters are, I guess, eye candy if your thing is shirtless guys. If you are straight, then I guess you are out of luck.
There is a decent amount of blood and gore, but it doesn't help anything. Every now and then, I would just think, "Oh another death", but as soon as the bloodshed stopped, the movie was right back to the way it was before. And I don't mean that the death scenes are anything really noteworthy, in fact, all they do is bring you out of boredom just a bit.
What little momentum the movie had going, completely falls apart at the end. The killer is a total letdown and actually quite dumb. We get no explanation as to why any of this took place. Terrible ending to a terrible movie.
I did read up a little about this on various websites and it seems that gay people label it as some breakout horror movie and straight people think it is a piece of shit. In fact, it seems a lot of gay cinema is instantly labeled breakout or superb, just because it has gay characters or gay themes. To me, that is stupid as fuck. If this movie was with straight characters, it would pass under the radar (gaydar?) and no one would give it a second look. Yet, since it has gay characters, it plays in film festivals and is surrounded by a bunch of hoopla. Well, shit is shit and this film is shit with gay characters. And shit will still be shit whether the characters are gay or not. As I said earlier, terrible movie.
Hey, I'm back! This is Melissa back with you. This weekend is the big Cinema Wasteland fall show. To me, Cinema Wasteland is the best horror convention. They always have a good mixup with guests each time, because it does get old seeing the same fucking people at every show. I think I was sick of seeing Tom Savini about five years ago. Don't get me wrong, great guy, but enough is enough with him for a while. Of course, he is back this year, but for a 25 anniversary reunion for the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There will also be a Street Trash reunion. I'm very excited for that. Oh shit, they got a guy from Cannibal Holocaust this year. Hopefully he will have some good stories and not have "forgotten" everything from that period of his life.
Of course, there is some shit I am bored to death with at these shows:
- tables of faux "scream queens" selling piles of shit movies, semi naked pictures and other crap. Hey, I'm all for nudity and hot girls, but I think they should get some more talented ones rather than the nameless, talentless ones who I always see there. And they should also sit there with their tops off, because, as much as they kid themselves that it is not the reason, their big tits are the only reason anyone pays attention to them.
- a table of Living Dead Dolls piled sky high. I hate those things. I can't even say why. One year, the one guy who makes them bought be drinks at the bar, so that was cool, but all the drinks in the world won't make me like those things.
- people who have no personal hygiene- horror conventions seem to be the only place I go to these days that you will walk by someone who smells like they haven't showered in a week. Ugh, it's especially bad when you get trapped behind them while walking through the dealers room.
- they do have a lot of good movies listed on the page of stuff that they will be showing in the screening rooms. i love the in person commentaries and stuff, but i hate the people who ask the same dumb fucking questions every single time. ask tom savini who is the hottest scream queen he has banged, but dont ask him how was it working with george romero?
- the people who put this on should get a temporary liquor liscense and sell their own stuff, because the prices last time at the bar were too high for three nights of hard drinking. i think ill smuggle some goodies in, like i often see a lot of people doing. also, if you are a cute boy and you want to buy me a drink, you can find me at the bar or wandering around. i have long black hair with a blue streak going through it. Just yell, "Hey you bitch!" and I'll gladly talk to you. You had better apoligize for calling me a bitch though.
That is all for this update. I have a review to update with tomorrow and I am sure Mr. Edward will be back before you know it.
posted by Crimson Screens at 2:39 PM
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