Crimson Screens is sad after "The Pumpkin Carver" ruins Halloween and reviews in a minute...
Crimson Screens is sad after "The Pumpkin Carver" ruins Halloween and reviews in a minute...
Ok, back again. I have seen a ton of movies in the last month or so. Some were way better than most, but either way, they will all end up here. Someone emailed me and asked why I post mostly negative reviews. Well, I review what I rent. I don't really care about reviewing movies that have been out for twenty years, or the classics, because those have been reviewed a thousand times over in a million other books, magazines and webpages. So, I review what I rent. Yes, the majority of releases today are real bad. I wish that wasn't the case, but it is. I will still watch as much as I can though. Because for every ten crappy movies I see, there is usually one that makes it worth sitting through all the bad ones.
"The Pumpkin Carver" was graced with a cool cover, which drew my interest to the video. Also, it is set on Halloween, which is my favorite holiday of the year, so I was pretty excited.
The movie opens with a boy carving a pumpkin. His sister has her boyfriend sneak over, but sends him away saying that they can't "hangout" until her brother goes to bed. Soon after, a man in a pumpkin mask shows up and tries to kill the sister, but the boy intervenes, killing the intruder. But ooooppps! The intruder was just the girls boyfriend playing a joke.
Skip ahead a few years and the sister and brother duo have relocated to a small town. There is a Halloween party and someone shows up in a pumpkin mask and starts to kill off all the party goers.
Ok, the opening scenes with the practical joke are pretty well done, with a little suspense, but mostly it is just well put together. The movie quickly devolves into crap, as the two leads have moved into a new town. They are getting ready for the big annual Halloween party. There is a lot of crap about what it takes to me a "Carver". Oh please. That's some stupid shit right there.
In addition to the completely generic plot, the acting is bad, the pace is slow and the explanations given are laaaaaame.
There is a lot of gore, which is pretty graphic, but it is all unconvincing and very shittily done.
This is a completely run of the mill modern slasher movie. Nothing special and nothing new.
Ok, here are some "reviews in a minute", done by friend of Crimson Screens, Melissa. I know they are mostly mainstream movies, or at least movies that played in theatres, but I figured this would be better than whole sections wasted on them.
The Departed- fantastic, interesting and excited. it's two and a half hours long but seemed like ninety minutes. A+ plus on all levels.
The Hitcher- take a good movie, reverse the gender roles and take out all the excitement of the orignal and you get this throw away piece of junk.
Stay Alive- life mimics a video game and people die. a semi cool concept that is very poorly conceived. even the unrated version lacks anything special.
Black Christmas- a total waste of time and a disgrace to the original.
Primevel- had one of the most misleading add campaigns ever, but it didn't matter because either way, the movie was not too good.
Hannibal Rising- well, i wish he would sink back to wherever he rose from. average and dull.
Flags Of Our Fathers- very well done and acted but ultimately boring when there wasn't a battle scene on the screen.
Flyboys- some exciting air battle sequences coupled with a love story and not enough character development. those were some crazy guys running around on top of that Zepplin, but overall, not too good.
Crank- awesome and excting action movie, felt like it was made in the 80's. anything Jason Statham touches is good. Highly recommended!
Ok, that's all. More to follow this week!
Ok, back again. I have seen a ton of movies in the last month or so. Some were way better than most, but either way, they will all end up here. Someone emailed me and asked why I post mostly negative reviews. Well, I review what I rent. I don't really care about reviewing movies that have been out for twenty years, or the classics, because those have been reviewed a thousand times over in a million other books, magazines and webpages. So, I review what I rent. Yes, the majority of releases today are real bad. I wish that wasn't the case, but it is. I will still watch as much as I can though. Because for every ten crappy movies I see, there is usually one that makes it worth sitting through all the bad ones.
"The Pumpkin Carver" was graced with a cool cover, which drew my interest to the video. Also, it is set on Halloween, which is my favorite holiday of the year, so I was pretty excited.
The movie opens with a boy carving a pumpkin. His sister has her boyfriend sneak over, but sends him away saying that they can't "hangout" until her brother goes to bed. Soon after, a man in a pumpkin mask shows up and tries to kill the sister, but the boy intervenes, killing the intruder. But ooooppps! The intruder was just the girls boyfriend playing a joke.
Skip ahead a few years and the sister and brother duo have relocated to a small town. There is a Halloween party and someone shows up in a pumpkin mask and starts to kill off all the party goers.
Ok, the opening scenes with the practical joke are pretty well done, with a little suspense, but mostly it is just well put together. The movie quickly devolves into crap, as the two leads have moved into a new town. They are getting ready for the big annual Halloween party. There is a lot of crap about what it takes to me a "Carver". Oh please. That's some stupid shit right there.
In addition to the completely generic plot, the acting is bad, the pace is slow and the explanations given are laaaaaame.
There is a lot of gore, which is pretty graphic, but it is all unconvincing and very shittily done.
This is a completely run of the mill modern slasher movie. Nothing special and nothing new.
Ok, here are some "reviews in a minute", done by friend of Crimson Screens, Melissa. I know they are mostly mainstream movies, or at least movies that played in theatres, but I figured this would be better than whole sections wasted on them.
The Departed- fantastic, interesting and excited. it's two and a half hours long but seemed like ninety minutes. A+ plus on all levels.
The Hitcher- take a good movie, reverse the gender roles and take out all the excitement of the orignal and you get this throw away piece of junk.
Stay Alive- life mimics a video game and people die. a semi cool concept that is very poorly conceived. even the unrated version lacks anything special.
Black Christmas- a total waste of time and a disgrace to the original.
Primevel- had one of the most misleading add campaigns ever, but it didn't matter because either way, the movie was not too good.
Hannibal Rising- well, i wish he would sink back to wherever he rose from. average and dull.
Flags Of Our Fathers- very well done and acted but ultimately boring when there wasn't a battle scene on the screen.
Flyboys- some exciting air battle sequences coupled with a love story and not enough character development. those were some crazy guys running around on top of that Zepplin, but overall, not too good.
Crank- awesome and excting action movie, felt like it was made in the 80's. anything Jason Statham touches is good. Highly recommended!
Ok, that's all. More to follow this week!
posted by Crimson Screens at 8:06 AM
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