Crimson Screens has eyes... and we use them to watch "The Hills Have Eyes"...

Crimson Screens has eyes... and we use them to watch "The Hills Have Eyes"...

Hey! Sorry about taking so long to update, but as I previously said, relocating to another part of the country takes up a lot of time. Plus, once I got home, I visited a lot of people I haven't seen for a long time and hanging out with friends and such.
Anyway, I did have time to check out the newly released unrated DVD special edition of the recent horror remake for The Hills Have Eyes. I did not see this in theatres because when it was there, most of my time was filled with obligations and stuff like that which took up all of my time. So I can't compare the R rated version to the unrated version, but its safe to say that the unrated one will have more gory goodies and other offensive stuff which was taken out for theatres. That is usually the case anyways.
Ok, I won't ignore the original The Hills Have Eyes status as a semi legendary movie, a stepping stone for a director soon moving on to greater things and Michael Berryman sure had an impressive presence. But the original, to me, was always slowly paced and really boring in a lot of spots. So the chance to remake it provides the chance for the film makers to improve on the faults of the first film.
I am happy to say that this film succeeds in not only being an entertaining movie, but it surpasses the original in every possible way. The acting is better, the effects are waaaaay better, the pace is improved upon way more than I had even hoped, the bad guys are better and overall the movie was more exciting. I do wish Michael Berryman was here because that's a cool guy, but we can't have everything we want here, right?
Ok, a family is traveling through the desert and a shady gas station attendant sends them off in the wrong direction and soon enough, an accident disables their car and they are stranded. Things get worse when various family members leave to try and find help.
Some scenes are reused from the original, but a lot of this is new and completely reimagined, which I like. More background is given on the desert mutants and I liked that a lot. It definitely made them seem more human and even slightly sympathetic, even though they were, for the most part, complete dirtbags.
The gore here is amazing. There is a shotgun head detonation that outdoes the one in the opening of Dawn Of The Dead. There is mucho axe and pick axe violence. Bloody gun shot wounds. Throats torn out. And tons more. It is all here. Fans of gore will definitely be pleased.
Also, I like the monster make ups. Very original and realistic.
Another thing I liked about this was Ted Levine as the dad. He was Buffalo Bill in The Silence Of The Lambs. He has a very distinctive voice. I thought he added some character to this movie. Also, Billy Drago was one of the mutants and even though he isn't in this a whole lot, seeing his name made me smile because that guy was creepy when he was on the X-Files.
Finally, the DVD case that this comes in is the coolest DVD case I have seen in a long time. It comes covered in this plastic and under it is fake blood that moves around when you move the case around. Very cool.
This movie is fast paced and entertaining. It is way better than the original. For a fun and entertaining movie, I say, see The Hills Have Eyes!
Next issue, will be a triple feature. I am not sure of what exactly yet, but it will be here in the next few days. Also, since I have returned home, work has continued on the Crimson Screens book, but more on that later.
Out.

Crimson Screens takes a field trip to "Wolf Creek" and unfortunately decides to make a stop at the "Motor Home Massacre"...

Crimson Screens takes a field trip to 'Wolf Creek" and unfortunately decides to make a stop at the "Motor Home Massacre"...

Hey! Sorry it has been a while without an update. Relocating to another part of the country sure eats up a lot of your time! But I'm getting settled and maximum movie time is on the horizon.
Anyways, onto the movies...
Wolf Creek is a little Australian film which was the subject of a bidding war after it was screened in various film festivals. Some "big name" Hollywood people hailed it as the scariest thing since the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the leader of the new breed of horror movies. Well, "big name" Hollywood people's opinions don't mean much so me, so I decided to see for myself.
A group of three travelers, one guy and two girls, are travelling through the Austrralian outback and they visit Wolf Creek, an area where a meteor once landed and which is now supposedly the site of alien activity. Well, we get no alien activity. But we do get a car that mysteriously won't start. Someone comes along, a seemingly cool dude, and off they go to get their car fixed. Luckily for us, and unfortunately for the travellers, things are about to take a nasty turn for the worse.
Ok, first I must say that the guy who playes the bad guy here, John Jarret, he is one of the best onscreen bad guys that I have seen in a while. There is this scene where he shows how, in Vietnam, people were disabled but kept alive so information couldf still be retrieved from them. That scene is so subtle yet mean spirited, I will say that it holds its own against anything in a classic such as Last House On The Left. The scene is made even more disturbing by who it happens to, especially after all they have been through up to that point. Fantastic! Besides that, that guy, his whole aura is scary, once he reveals who he really is. I was loving it. There is another scene with all the characters sitting around a camp fire and that guy looks at the male traveller after he makes a potentially offensive comment, and the look he gives, it part joking and part scary and all menacing and it is by and far the best mean mugging scary look of the last decade.
The rest of the cast is sufficient, capable of their tasks as well, but the bad guy, I give him an A+.
A lot of people complained that the first half of the movie was bad because not a whole lot happens, just the travelers travelling and talking and doing things and being who they are. That is true, but in my opinion, it is some fantastic buildup to an amazing second half. In fact, I did not find the first half boring, but if you do, I say that it is worth sitting through just to see the amazing second half. This is my favorite horror movie in the last few years. A+!!!
On the other hand, Motor Home Massacre, is a perfect subject to the amazing ability of a good editor. The trailer for this one made it look so cool, like bloody version of Just Before Dawn perhaps. And since trailers are supposed to make you want to see the movie, this one succeeds on all levels. But it is the only thing that succeeds about this movie. I'm glad I only rented this one! Some kids, who are all absolutely horrible actors and actresses, take a motor home for a trip into the woods. Someone starts killing them. Yay!
First, this movie opens with a tent sex murders, which is replayed later on. It isn't even really switched around but rather just replayed with added nudity. The kill special effects aren't special at all, just blood splattered on people and a laughable machete into the tent effect where half the time the machete doesn't even break through the tent. Ugh! The acting gets worse too, especially at the end. Oh yeah, there is a scene where someone gets an arm and a leg chopped off and it is so horribly edited and acted out and oh yeah, I watched half this shit on fast forward because it really was no possible to sit through this whole thing without stabing myself in the head with a fork.
It baffles me how this was released by Lions Gate, who releases a lot of the namer brand horror titles in theatres. I would have expected to see a Troma logo on the DVD case somewhere, but then again, Lloyd Kaufman probably saw this and said, "Hey, fuck that piece of shit! It's horrible!" I would have to agree with him one hundred percent.
Out...

"When A Stranger Calls"... Crimson Screens Doesn't Answer...

"When A Stranger Calls"... Crimson Screens Doesn't Answer

This is a remake of a horror film from them late 70's and I have not seen the original so I won't compare them, but I can say, that after viewing this, the original would surely have to be a masterpiece in comparison. It follows the same plot of a babysitter getting strange phone calls, she calls the police and they find out that the calls are coming from inside the house! Ooooooh scary!
It opens with a family being killed, intercut with scenes from am amusement park. Then the film skips to 120 miles away, where a girl, Jill, is having boyfriend troubles and parent troubles. Soon she is about to be having phone troubles and even sooner, the viewer will be having headache troubles.
Her dad sets her up to babysit for a family at their remote lakeside house. Hey, the house is amazing. It even has an indoor pond and bird sanctuary. Soon enough, mysterious calls begin and the terror begins. Actually no terror ever begins. The lead actress spends almost the entire movie lurking through the house, looking for the cause of noises and being scared. I wasn't scared once. Well maybe when they show a cat eating one of the birds, but that was it. Ha!
The lead actress, who has most of the screen time to herself, has these dark thick eyebrows and they were so distracting for the first forty five minutes or so. It was all I could look at. In fact, it looked like she might have lost her eyebrows and someone just drew on new ones with a black Sharpie marker. Haha!
Anyway, this movie was pretty bad. When the phone call guy eventually shows up, he isn't very scary or menacing. Just bland and forgetful.
If I had to pick one good thing about this movie, I would say that it would be the fact that Lance Henriksen does the killer's phone voice. Besides that, this one is a loser.

A Special Date With "Tamara"...

A Special Date With "Tamara"... Special guest review written by Melissa Wolf
First, I will say that I am glad Mr. Ed made a review site since he takes way too long to make new print issues. I understand he will be relocating soon and I will force him to make new issues. Some guy emailed me and he just recieved issue #2 from a friend. When did that come out? Four year ago? HA! I understand that there have been two issues since, but so I get one? No way. Luckily, I'm nice enough to still contribute. Oh sarcasm is great.
On with the review...
Tamara starts out much like Carrie, with a nerdy girl getting picked on at school. Eventually some "cool" people play a trick on here and she dies. Well, uh oh, she happened to be into witchcraft, so before you know it, she is back, only this time she is sexy and out to get the people who killed her.
This could have quickly turned into a crappy slasher movie, but luckily, it didn't. Tamara makes the victims kill themselves, for the most part. The first person to go takes of his own ear, his tongue and then stabs himself in the eye. And in the best scene in a movie is a long time, she tricks two lustful suitors into having sex with each other! Two guys! Oooooh, how scandalous! I bet every sad boy who rented this in hopes of wacking it to naked boobs was like, "hey what the fuck!" when that scene happened. Yes siree, this is some funny shit.
Ok, the acting is pretty hokey. The paces drags a bit towards the end. And there are a lot of blown chances for fun, but overall, this is a pretty neat straight to video horror movie. I hate at the end when all is settled, they insisted on throwing in a stupid 'but it's not really over' ending. But fuck it, more funny than scary, I still say this one is worth renting. Over and out.

Crimson Screens exhibits some real "Strange Behavior"...

Crimson Screens exhibits some real "Strange Behavior"...

The early 80's showcases the slasher movie idea at its peak. Countless horror movies were released and many of them ripped ideas from movies such as Halloween and Friday the 13th. Many of these were terrible but a few were great. Strange Behavior is one of the great ones.
The movie follows the general strange goings on in a small town. A lot of the strangeness seems to be radiating from a college and its psychiatric department. We also find out that perhaps strange things went on here years ago.
First, I would like to say that this movie is fantastic at showing a general feeling of dread throughout the film. Not a lot of it is really scary, but rather tense and fucked up, like we are waiting for the bad things to happen.
Second, the murder scenes are pretty grim. I don't mean that they are full on bloodbaths, and while they are bloody, they are filmed in a weird point of view style that kind had me feeling bad for the victims. It was pretty damn nasty when they killer was stabbing at the camera.
This movie carries a surreal feel to it. I don't know if it has to do with the weird videos the psychiatry subjects watch or something else, but coupled with the dread this films shows, the nasty murder scenes and the general tone of the movie, it all goes together and makes a fantastic little horror thriller.
The acting isn't half bad either. And for once, the ending is pretty decent.
This isn't a movie to showcase gore, and while there is some, it is filmed in a mean way that leaves you feeling bad. This is no effects show. It is a tense and grisly little movie.
The only bad part of this one was the stupid party scene where all the party goers break into a synchronized dance routine, to the sounds of 'Lightning Strikes'. Oh boy, was that dumb. I was like, "what the fuck is this?" Besides that little error in judgement, this movie is great. See it!
Also, this weekend, there will be a big update, with three reviews, one of which is a guest review and also a book review. Good stuff!