Crimson Screens thinks that "Scarecrow Slayer" needs to be slayed and "Great White" is a long lost comedy classic...
Crimson Screens thinks that "Scarecrow Slayer" needs to be slayed and that "Great White" is a long lost comedy classic...
Greetings all! Melissa here with you! Here are two reviews Edward sent before he lef to attend to some personal business. Also, before we go on, I just wanted to say that the new Showtime series "Dexter" is damn good and it should appeal a whole bunch to horror fans. Check it out! It is about a serial killer who works for the Miami Police Department and he only kills people who escape the normal means of justice. This show is just fantastic and I love it! The new season of Masters Of Horror starts this Friday and, well, I don't really care. Now, Edward's reviews...
Ok, "Scarecrow Slayer" is a sequel to a movie called "Scarecrow". Do not confuse it with the great late 80's movie titled "Scarecrows". That movie was ruling. These are not. I saw the last twenty minutes or so of "Scarecrow" and, oh boy, was it bad! Shot on video slow motion effects that just look like blurs on the screen are not entertaining to watch. The scarecrow is shot through the head and we can see right through his head, but moments later, the hole is nowhere to be seen. A car races away from the scarecrow and he does gymnastics moves down the street after the car and actually catches up. Ridiculous. Well "Scarecrow Slayer" is the sequel. A farmer, Tony Todd, is the guardian of an anceint evil scarecrow and when some stupid college boys try to steal the scarecrow, the farmer shoots one of them and his soul goes into the scarecrow. The idea is ok, I guess, but the execution is flawed. So the scarecrow is off on a rampage and people try to stop him.
Ok, enough about the plot because it gets increasingly stupid. The acting is horrible but I guess that makes it fit in with the rest of the movie. The action scenes are retarded, poorly shot and hey, we don't care what happens to the characters anyway. There is a kung fu fight between a good scarecrow and a bad scarecrow at the end, which is a novel idea, but it is also poorly shot and edited, so any coolness is quickly replaced with confusion. Ok, this movie sucks, right? Well nothing in it comes close to being as bad as the effects are. They are all mostly crappy CGI effects, but the worst and shittiest CGI you can imagine. A man is chopped in half by the scarecrow, and you know the deal, his upper half slides off his lower half, and well, the blood just appears on the screen in like a shitty sub par animation way. It made me laugh that they kept such nonsense in here. Also, a Marine ROTC guy has rockets in his basement. Right!
This was produced by Tony Todd. Who knows why? One would think that he could have gathered more talent than this. The box art and the pictures on it make this look really cool. It's not.
"Great White" is the Italian version of "Jaws". So little changes were made, that the producers of "Jaws" got lawyers to sure and thus this movie was banned from being released in the US.
If you know the plot of "Jaws" then you know the plot of this. A shark is terrorizing a resort town and a group of people set out to stop it. The Brody and Quint characters from "Jaws" are copied without shame. The plot is copied without shame. Even some dialogue seems strangely familiar. Whatever. Nevermind all the plagerism, this movie somehow manages to be strangely exciting to watch. I have been a fan of sharks ever since I was a little kid, so I'll watch anything with sharks in it, and this one is fun to watch. There is a lot of stock footage and hammy acting, but the part that takes the cake is the actual shark design. The shark here is so silly that you can't help but love it. You see, when he attacks, he pokes his head out of the water and just bobs around until someone swims close enough so he can bite them without even trying. Ridiculous! Anyone wanting to get away would just have to swim away, but oddly enough, a lot of people fail to do that. There is some gore and a man hanging from a helicopter is bitten in half.
Ok, this is a shameless copy of a greater movie, but the way that the film makers rip off everything is funny and they somehow manage to create something, that while very stupid, is a great deal of fun to watch. I love it!
Ok, more reviews to follow I'm sure.
Greetings all! Melissa here with you! Here are two reviews Edward sent before he lef to attend to some personal business. Also, before we go on, I just wanted to say that the new Showtime series "Dexter" is damn good and it should appeal a whole bunch to horror fans. Check it out! It is about a serial killer who works for the Miami Police Department and he only kills people who escape the normal means of justice. This show is just fantastic and I love it! The new season of Masters Of Horror starts this Friday and, well, I don't really care. Now, Edward's reviews...
Ok, "Scarecrow Slayer" is a sequel to a movie called "Scarecrow". Do not confuse it with the great late 80's movie titled "Scarecrows". That movie was ruling. These are not. I saw the last twenty minutes or so of "Scarecrow" and, oh boy, was it bad! Shot on video slow motion effects that just look like blurs on the screen are not entertaining to watch. The scarecrow is shot through the head and we can see right through his head, but moments later, the hole is nowhere to be seen. A car races away from the scarecrow and he does gymnastics moves down the street after the car and actually catches up. Ridiculous. Well "Scarecrow Slayer" is the sequel. A farmer, Tony Todd, is the guardian of an anceint evil scarecrow and when some stupid college boys try to steal the scarecrow, the farmer shoots one of them and his soul goes into the scarecrow. The idea is ok, I guess, but the execution is flawed. So the scarecrow is off on a rampage and people try to stop him.
Ok, enough about the plot because it gets increasingly stupid. The acting is horrible but I guess that makes it fit in with the rest of the movie. The action scenes are retarded, poorly shot and hey, we don't care what happens to the characters anyway. There is a kung fu fight between a good scarecrow and a bad scarecrow at the end, which is a novel idea, but it is also poorly shot and edited, so any coolness is quickly replaced with confusion. Ok, this movie sucks, right? Well nothing in it comes close to being as bad as the effects are. They are all mostly crappy CGI effects, but the worst and shittiest CGI you can imagine. A man is chopped in half by the scarecrow, and you know the deal, his upper half slides off his lower half, and well, the blood just appears on the screen in like a shitty sub par animation way. It made me laugh that they kept such nonsense in here. Also, a Marine ROTC guy has rockets in his basement. Right!
This was produced by Tony Todd. Who knows why? One would think that he could have gathered more talent than this. The box art and the pictures on it make this look really cool. It's not.
"Great White" is the Italian version of "Jaws". So little changes were made, that the producers of "Jaws" got lawyers to sure and thus this movie was banned from being released in the US.
If you know the plot of "Jaws" then you know the plot of this. A shark is terrorizing a resort town and a group of people set out to stop it. The Brody and Quint characters from "Jaws" are copied without shame. The plot is copied without shame. Even some dialogue seems strangely familiar. Whatever. Nevermind all the plagerism, this movie somehow manages to be strangely exciting to watch. I have been a fan of sharks ever since I was a little kid, so I'll watch anything with sharks in it, and this one is fun to watch. There is a lot of stock footage and hammy acting, but the part that takes the cake is the actual shark design. The shark here is so silly that you can't help but love it. You see, when he attacks, he pokes his head out of the water and just bobs around until someone swims close enough so he can bite them without even trying. Ridiculous! Anyone wanting to get away would just have to swim away, but oddly enough, a lot of people fail to do that. There is some gore and a man hanging from a helicopter is bitten in half.
Ok, this is a shameless copy of a greater movie, but the way that the film makers rip off everything is funny and they somehow manage to create something, that while very stupid, is a great deal of fun to watch. I love it!
Ok, more reviews to follow I'm sure.
posted by Crimson Screens at 1:05 PM
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