Crimson Screens is pissed! "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning", "The Grudge 2" and "Night Force"... all pieces of shit!!!
Crimson Screens is pissed! "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning", "The Grudge 2" and "Night Force"... All pieces of shit!!!
Recovering from surgery is no fun, I tell you. Going to Cinema Wasteland was a terrible idea, even thought I had fun. That shit wore me down something fierce. Also, starting a new job right after was not such a hot idea either. The job was too good to pass up and sacrifices must be made, right? Well yeah, but I'm exhausted at the end of eeach day. My sides hurt and this shit is taking forever to heal. If I twist my torso too far in either direction, it feels like I am being pulled apart. Not fun. Every morning when I wake up, I kind of stretch my body out, like I have since I was a little kid. Well, that shit hurts like a beast and every morning I forget to not do it and soon enough, I'm writhing in pain. I'm my own little horror movie right now. That's for sure.
So with all of that going on, I figure fuck it, it's October, my favorite month of the year, at least there will be some cool movies on. I can even go to the theatre, since it doesn't take much out of me to sit in a seat for a couple hours. Well, silly me, the Halloween offerings this year are bad news, I tell you. Last weeks horror themed CSI episode was scarier and far better than any of the shit I'm about to review...
First, we had to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning. I didn't particularly want to see it, but I did because I always feel like I will end up hating myself if I miss out on the next great classis. Yeah right.
Some teens are on a cross country trip. They have an accident and then they get kidnapped by the creepy family. Simple plot, right? Impossible to screw up, right? Wrong!!!
The movie shows the origins of all the people in the remake of the original. That is a pretty cool idea, hey, we get to see how Leatherface came to be, and so it seemed like it would be some cool shit. But no, everything that is explained and shown is nothing great or amazing.
R. Lee Ermy does a great job here, as Sheriff Hoyt. Good role and great performance.
Besides that, there is a lot of dumb shit too. Assuming anyone who sees this will have seen the previous remake, you know all the people who are in that movie, and so when they are shown here, there is never any conflict of who will live and who will die, because we all know, from seeing the remake, that they all live. That takes a lot away from the movie, since we know the outcome, you would have figured they would have put in cool stuff to make up for that but no. There is a Vietnam vet guy, who should have been a bad ass fighter and they could have had a cool battle or something with him and Leatherface, but no, he ends up being a pussy.
There is some cool gore, I'll admit that. A lot was cut for an R rating, but still, good gore. I imagine the inievitable uncut DVD will be neat to see.
Oh yeah, the ending is so fucking stupid, any fan of horror will be able to see it coming waaaaaay before it happens. So fucking retarded to put that in there like that. And, I won't ruin the end, but I will say that when what happens happens, any simpleton can see that how it happened is so far fetched and impossible that it crossed the line from entertaining into dumb.
If this had come before the remake, then it would have been more effective, but overall, since we already knew the end, it just barely passes as a way to show some nifty death scenes.
Another "big: horror movie of the Halloween season is "The Grudge 2". The original "The Grudge" was a remake of a Japanese film and offers further proof as to how people need to stop remaking every movie from Japan. The remake was a horribly boring piece of trash. And yet it made a lot of money, so obviously a sequel had to be made...
Sarah Michelle Gellar is in this for a short while and after her character is gone, the main focus is taken over by her sister. Form there it is anyones guess as to what the fuck is going on. The plot is all over the place. Multiple story lines just go on and on and dude, this shit was boring after a half an hour. The scares are all seen way before they happen and they aren;t scary or even funny. Just dumb. I kept laughing at the movie and the people in front of me were definately sad about that. Oh well. "The Grudge 2" is a mess of a film, switching from nonsense to complete nonsense.
I would like to add that the "creepy little kid" that is in this and about every other Japanese horror movie has been done to death. I'd like to do to them what Anthony Wong does to the kids in The Untold Story. Fuck, this movie is junk, save your money and go to bed early.
Finally, there was nothing else to see at the theatre, so I started to go through all the stuff we got from the Hollywood video VHS sales. First up was "Night Force". This is an 80's action movie starring Linda Blair. The story is about a girl, she gets taken hostage by some terrorists. She is the daughter of a governor and it seems she was kidnapped to get a ransom. Well unfortunately for her, the governor was the guy who helped create the "US does not negotiate for hostages" rule and so they leave her there. Well, her friends don't like that, so the group, led by her boyfriend, set off to South America to save her.
Well, I had real high hopes for this. Action movies in the 80s were gold and this did have a cast of genre actors. Any high hopes I had were quickly dashed as horrible acting, poorly done action scenes and a slow pace bogged down this Red Dawn rip off. There are a few gun battles and a lot of dialogue and one by one the cast dies, but the surviving few must rescue the girl. Oh, it's all very dumb. The scenes that attempt drama and emotion fall flat. Hey, Linda Blair cannot act either. She is at her worst here, hamming it up in her scenes. There is some nudity, so boob fans will be pleased, but then later on, there are crappy rape scenes, so any sexy factor is quickly canceled out. A lackluster battle ends the film and I sighed in relief as I pressed the eject button on my VCR.
So yeah, three bad movies in about three days. Help me!
Recovering from surgery is no fun, I tell you. Going to Cinema Wasteland was a terrible idea, even thought I had fun. That shit wore me down something fierce. Also, starting a new job right after was not such a hot idea either. The job was too good to pass up and sacrifices must be made, right? Well yeah, but I'm exhausted at the end of eeach day. My sides hurt and this shit is taking forever to heal. If I twist my torso too far in either direction, it feels like I am being pulled apart. Not fun. Every morning when I wake up, I kind of stretch my body out, like I have since I was a little kid. Well, that shit hurts like a beast and every morning I forget to not do it and soon enough, I'm writhing in pain. I'm my own little horror movie right now. That's for sure.
So with all of that going on, I figure fuck it, it's October, my favorite month of the year, at least there will be some cool movies on. I can even go to the theatre, since it doesn't take much out of me to sit in a seat for a couple hours. Well, silly me, the Halloween offerings this year are bad news, I tell you. Last weeks horror themed CSI episode was scarier and far better than any of the shit I'm about to review...
First, we had to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning. I didn't particularly want to see it, but I did because I always feel like I will end up hating myself if I miss out on the next great classis. Yeah right.
Some teens are on a cross country trip. They have an accident and then they get kidnapped by the creepy family. Simple plot, right? Impossible to screw up, right? Wrong!!!
The movie shows the origins of all the people in the remake of the original. That is a pretty cool idea, hey, we get to see how Leatherface came to be, and so it seemed like it would be some cool shit. But no, everything that is explained and shown is nothing great or amazing.
R. Lee Ermy does a great job here, as Sheriff Hoyt. Good role and great performance.
Besides that, there is a lot of dumb shit too. Assuming anyone who sees this will have seen the previous remake, you know all the people who are in that movie, and so when they are shown here, there is never any conflict of who will live and who will die, because we all know, from seeing the remake, that they all live. That takes a lot away from the movie, since we know the outcome, you would have figured they would have put in cool stuff to make up for that but no. There is a Vietnam vet guy, who should have been a bad ass fighter and they could have had a cool battle or something with him and Leatherface, but no, he ends up being a pussy.
There is some cool gore, I'll admit that. A lot was cut for an R rating, but still, good gore. I imagine the inievitable uncut DVD will be neat to see.
Oh yeah, the ending is so fucking stupid, any fan of horror will be able to see it coming waaaaaay before it happens. So fucking retarded to put that in there like that. And, I won't ruin the end, but I will say that when what happens happens, any simpleton can see that how it happened is so far fetched and impossible that it crossed the line from entertaining into dumb.
If this had come before the remake, then it would have been more effective, but overall, since we already knew the end, it just barely passes as a way to show some nifty death scenes.
Another "big: horror movie of the Halloween season is "The Grudge 2". The original "The Grudge" was a remake of a Japanese film and offers further proof as to how people need to stop remaking every movie from Japan. The remake was a horribly boring piece of trash. And yet it made a lot of money, so obviously a sequel had to be made...
Sarah Michelle Gellar is in this for a short while and after her character is gone, the main focus is taken over by her sister. Form there it is anyones guess as to what the fuck is going on. The plot is all over the place. Multiple story lines just go on and on and dude, this shit was boring after a half an hour. The scares are all seen way before they happen and they aren;t scary or even funny. Just dumb. I kept laughing at the movie and the people in front of me were definately sad about that. Oh well. "The Grudge 2" is a mess of a film, switching from nonsense to complete nonsense.
I would like to add that the "creepy little kid" that is in this and about every other Japanese horror movie has been done to death. I'd like to do to them what Anthony Wong does to the kids in The Untold Story. Fuck, this movie is junk, save your money and go to bed early.
Finally, there was nothing else to see at the theatre, so I started to go through all the stuff we got from the Hollywood video VHS sales. First up was "Night Force". This is an 80's action movie starring Linda Blair. The story is about a girl, she gets taken hostage by some terrorists. She is the daughter of a governor and it seems she was kidnapped to get a ransom. Well unfortunately for her, the governor was the guy who helped create the "US does not negotiate for hostages" rule and so they leave her there. Well, her friends don't like that, so the group, led by her boyfriend, set off to South America to save her.
Well, I had real high hopes for this. Action movies in the 80s were gold and this did have a cast of genre actors. Any high hopes I had were quickly dashed as horrible acting, poorly done action scenes and a slow pace bogged down this Red Dawn rip off. There are a few gun battles and a lot of dialogue and one by one the cast dies, but the surviving few must rescue the girl. Oh, it's all very dumb. The scenes that attempt drama and emotion fall flat. Hey, Linda Blair cannot act either. She is at her worst here, hamming it up in her scenes. There is some nudity, so boob fans will be pleased, but then later on, there are crappy rape scenes, so any sexy factor is quickly canceled out. A lackluster battle ends the film and I sighed in relief as I pressed the eject button on my VCR.
So yeah, three bad movies in about three days. Help me!
posted by Crimson Screens at 3:44 PM
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